Having my hometown being Batu Pahat, Muar is a familiar place to me. I'd been wanting to return since the last time I was there during CNY. I'd never imagine myself returning in this manner, under such circumstances.
Anyway, I am really glad that I'm able to go on this trip with Dan n Nick, which are (sort of) my childhood friends from church. I can't imagine myself going on this trip alone. Oh, and I thank God for making all these possible and granting us journey mercy.
Much to Dan's denial, I helped in getting us into Muar.
Finding the church was not easy but we managed. Thank God I can read mandarin, which those 2 guys couldn't.
The service starts at 8pm. We got there at 7.30 so there was time to kill. So, we went to pay our respect to the 5 family members.
We entered that specially set up room. 5 caskets were arrange in a semi circle.
I went ahead with the 2 guys behind me. It's harder for them as the guys had always been closer to Joash.
1st was Mdm Lim, she looks beautiful.
Followed by Mr Roland, who I understand to be a great leader and mighty man of God.
As much as I wanted to approach the next casket the moment I stepped into this room, my feet refuses to go any further. So near yet I couldn't bear to take those few steps...
Joash's picture stood at a table beside the casket, he was smiling so brightly.
I paused for about a second. I just didn't want to get too much attention on myself so I carried my heavy feet and stood by where Joash was.
I stared at the wooden framework without looking in. After slowly placing a carnation on top the casket, I turn towards the head of this wooden box.
There he was, lying so peacefully. The first thing that caught my eyes were Joash's makeup. It was really thick and it's not his natural colour. Then I saw skin grafts covering most part of his face. It must have been to cover up his wounds. He must have been really badly wounded.
I continue to look on his face, his thick eyebrows (Wai Chi said they looks like Crayon Shin Chan's) stood out. His face was nicely shaved. His thick lips.
I could spot a faint smile on his face. How I wished just to be able to see him smile again..
Tears began to invade my eyes. It took some effort but I fought them back because I know very well that Joash is very much alive. And most of all, he won't be able to enjoy Heaven with all of us crying..
My heart whispered 'I miss you Joash' and then together with the guys, I left the room.
As sad as I cannot imagine, Dan created this smiley face..After the service, we visited Joash one last time. I passed by Joash's dad and in my heart I thank him for Joash being a part of my life.
I was much stable than I thought when I reached Joash. He definately looked as if he's smiling slightly. Instead of wanting to cry, I actually wanted to take his picture and save it so that I can show Joash when I meet him in Heaven once again. I can sort of imagine him making a funny face when he sees what the undertakers did to his face :)
Side-track:
my 20th birthday present from Joash and Eliza.it looks worn out now cos I wear it a lot.
Joash with the 2 birthday girls of 2008(I celebrated my birthday together with Wai Chi)
the last time I saw Joash during the YES alumni reunion of YES'10 in Jan
My last photoshot with him.."Joash, I hope this will be the last post dedicated for you. I know I'll have to move on but I'll keep the memories we had for the rest of my life. But then again, this doesn't mean I will break my promise to whack you double hard when I meet you again! ;)"
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