remember that I cared

I don't understand what am I feeling right now..

Is it stress from my exam?
The piling procedures?
Misunderstanding between my friends?
The death of a friend?
Lack of sleep?
or..
An unrequited love?

I feel like a bird being caught by a barbed fence. As I struggle in attempts to escape, I find myself getting more tangled up within the fence. The sharp ended barbs piercing and injuring me mercilessly. I cry out for help but I find my friends caught in their own barbed fence. There's just no one there to save me.

As I lay trapped, left with so little strength that I can hardly breathe. I realize the main reason that I caught myself in this fence.

Memories of him just keep flooding my mind. I knew I was never good enough for him but I never thought to lose him in this way; to know that he loves another in this sort of manner..

I love you, I really did. I blame myself for not being initiative enough to approach you the time I realized my feelings for you. Instead of encouraging you to fall for me, I drew myself away from you. Deep down in my heart, I selfishly think that you belong to me. Naive, I was so naive.

I had never met a guy like you, never had I experience so much care and attention (perhaps?) from such a gentleman. I'll smile whenever I recall the time we went out, the time we spent together. You really took care of me. For the first time, someone actually looked back and search for me when I'm lost in a crowd. Then you stayed so closed to me as if afraid that I'll get lost in the crowd again.

But you are someone else's man now. I'll just have to accept the fact.

The fact that I'd lose you forever. No matter how much my heart regrets and cry, you'll never be by my side ever again.

Goodbye, God bless and remember that I cared...