Sense vs Emotion

Lately I'm feeling the change.. As if I'd grown out of my youth and officially into the adult world. It's really hard to imagine myself as a 23 years old living her life heading towards an unknown future..

Everyone has their own share of life, some had it hard while some don't; but no matter what life one has led, there will always be some regrets, be it big or small -- regrets that touch the very core of that person's life..

For myself, I really don't enjoy the hard times I've been and am going through. I hate it. I am just the type that only wants to have a carefree and worry-free life. That's a stupid statement, I mean, who wouldn't want to??

Lately there are some down times and things that happened is just swaying my stand. I though I had it contained but just took one evening to turn it all around..

I don't like this feeling: the feeling of being helpless..

Trying hard to keep myself checked but the heart just won't obey. As if it has a mind of its own. As if it wants to fight for its right.

The battle between sense and emotion. Who will win??

Happy birthday to me!

I really had a blessed birthday today ^^

Before today, my cellgroup-mate from GTPJ bought doughnuts for an early birthday celebration. :)
I had a chocolate cake at midnight from my course-mates.
Then 2 cupcakes from my dear junior.
When I came back from the 'celebration', I get to read so so many messages on my fb wall and a few sms-es on my phone. Thank you all!! The best one is the wish all the way from someone who is in Hong Kong.. ^^
When I reached church, I got few personal birthday wishes and a birthday song sung by one of our church's top singer. Hahaha.. Appreciate it a lot ;)
Lunch was with mum at Nando's. Hehehe..
Then when I'm back in my hostel, my room-mates gave me warm wishes.. :)
To end the evening, I had another cake from my other course-mates. Few presents. Love it very much.
The best part is that I get to be Han Kyeong's wife. Hahahaha!!
I really had a great time.. Thank God for making me feel so great and thank all of you that had been apart of my day today. Love you all!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

My girlfriends and I went out yesterday and we shared what single ladies would share when we get together, especially when it's a day before Valentine's :P
I can't help re-thinking our situation and give some opinion here..
So here goes..

Just like a book with blank pages, women will let a man scribble and sketch on the "Introduction" page. Once she likes it, she opens up further into her story, starting "Chapter 1". If it works out, he'll be able to write on her pages til it says "The End".

But not all men knows how to write. I don't mean on their literature skills but their skill on keeping the book open. A woman is not just looking for an author, she's looking for THE author. According to her own preference though.

As far as I'd noticed, there are a few types of authors.

First are those who have seemingly endless supply of pen and ink.
They will just write and write and write and savage her pages on just "Chapter 1".
At first glance, one may think he is being passionate and extra loving but it's
freaking the book out! She'll end up being defensive.
"Chapter 1's" aren't meant to be long and exaggerated or neither should there be
any romantic development, they're meant to be short and leave everyone
wondering if this or that guy would end up with this girl or that? Right??


Second, there are the adventurous authors. These guys are so full with ideas that
they'll just attack any books that comes their way. Well, maybe not just any would
do but only books they decide that are qualified to carry their 'masterpiece'.
They're always coming up with new stories and never satisfied with just one book/story.
In their writing room, there are just piles and piles of unfinished books that
just sits there waiting for the author that thinks only of himself.


Then there's this author that I sorta don't respect. They are the type
that never learn how to appreciate the role of the book.
Books are not made to fly up to their author neither are they made to give
suggestions to their author on how the story should continue. To them authors,
they think that 'I should write on my book as little as possible or else she might
think I'm too desperate'. And this guy wouldn't even DARE to add her on fb! OH please... So adding a friend on fb is too desperate now la??
Authors should be passionate about writing their piece, to have the sense of 'want
to keep the story going'... Don't you think so?


This other author is the slow and easy type. He'll take his time on his book.
Taking his time and making every page meaningful. The story is written with care, sometimes too careful, yet he is able to make his book feel special and possibly, loved?
This seemingly perfect author has his downside as well,
a book may feel bored when the author takes too long a time on the plot development that never
show signs of climax or exhilaration. Who would enjoy a mundane story??
Everyone wants bits and pieces of excitement and adventure! :)

Well... That's about what I think I know. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!! ^^ Love ya all..

God with me

I packed up my bags and hit the road. I followed every signs closely so that I don't miss any turning and end up lost.
But the signs are confusing or maybe it's just that my visions are blurr.. I end up lost no matter how hard I try to keep on the right track.
But throughout every step I take and every hurt inflicted, I find that God is there. Lovingly and faithfully walking ahead of me. I'm so grateful to have known such a wonderful Father, It's just unbelievable..
Yet... I wished if everything was clearer and simpler.
Maybe through this I can become a better person..? May God keep me..

Stunt

It's funny and unbelievable how things turn around and the outcomes of my situation is really leaving me speechless.

At some point I'm very stunt at how God handles my situation and circumstance. He's amazing, awesome and indescribable.

All that I could wish for is that I could be a more discipline person, with more wisdom, courage and understanding. All these so that I may live the life that I should...

A bright future

I had a great time alone with God in GT cell combine on Friday. The whole 2 hours were spend on our one on one encounter with God.
As Pastor Julie lead us, we enter into our own space and look unto our awesome Father and Master. It was an indescribable encounter and experience.
I'd always wanted to just sit at the altar and soak into God presence for as long as I want and last Friday was a fulfillment of that longing. At the altar I laid down everything and commit to God and God alone. Nothing else matters at that moment.
As I pray and soaked in His presence I saw a bright light. It was my future.. As if God is telling me that my future holds a bright light that will shine like nothing else..
Isn't being God's child amazing? It's not an easy journey but it is so satisfying :)

2nd Anniversary :)

Today marks the day I first step into TTCL College of Nursing. It's been exactly 2 years now. Time really flies..
Tonight we'll be having a party where most of our batch will gather and celebrate ^^ Kinda look forward towards it. Hehe..