More than pain

"Ouch", a term to express pain or hurt.
Ouch is not able to express the pain I am feeling.. I feel devastated. I really do not know how to hold on to myself anymore. I tired and I tired to be who I am. I tired to follow what is "right", it failed so many times that I resorted to try what is wrong. Now, I find myselfcrushed from all sides.
 I feel like a rat. A rat that runs away whenever threatened, a rat that do not have the sense of guilt, a rat that will never have to experience the pain of being betrayed.
Please pray for me.. I really need God..

God my refuge..

God is my comforter, my strength and my refuge. What more could I hope or ask for? If the story of my life is narrated by Him, what should I be fearful of??

Almost time to let go..

There's this quote that I came across and it says "Let go of the thing you really want. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be yours."

To let go. Easier said than done. How many people had been courageous enough to do so? The heart is willing but the flesh is weak..

I want to let it go.. but in the process of leaving it, I'd realized how much it means to me. One would never realize the importance of something until you lose it. Being on the verge of losing that something had me realized how much I did not want to lose it. The streams of tears wouldn't be enough to define what i feel..

So yeah... I'm forced to let go of something that means a lot to me. Just like a teenager who is unwilling to let go of her baby pillow. But growing older means growing out of the old things. So, as unlikely as it may seem that I'll get over things, that day will come where i realize that it was the right thing to do afterall...

The Name of Jesus, my shelter through the storm

I'm currently going through the testing period in my life.. This time the blow gets bigger..
Usually, I only suffer through one aspect in life but this time.. My family, our job, their studies, my phone, my finance.. It's quite a blow..
Just one text message and I have to learn to be financially prudent; just one bucket of water and I lost 1.7k (that was "ouch"); just one misunderstanding and someone has to lose her job; just a paper and someone turns emo..
It was a hard week..
I never seek God when I invested my 1.7k.. So, I will take it as a lesson learnt. On the bright side, I can go out with my bro to get both of us each a phone :) can have some quality family time. Hehe..
What else..? There is also another thing that I prey before I prayed.. So as unwilling as I am to loose it, that special thing, I'm preparing myself to face loosing it.. Something money can't buy.. It's a pity that I didn't put God first before I hit on it.. As simple as a prayer and I failed to do so..
But God is gracious.. I prayed for my family and peace came on my family. Not forgetting those who prayed along. I appreciate and love you all very much :)
Somehow, God gives joy and courage.. I just love how happy I feel after I spent time with Him :)

"The Name Of Jesus" - Chris Tomlin

The name of Jesus is a refuge
A shelter from the storm, a help to those who call
The name of Jesus is a fortress
A saving place to run, a hope unshakeable

When we fall You are the Savior, when we call You are the answer
There is power in Your name, there is power in Your name

In the name of Jesus
There is life and healing
Chains are broken in Your name
Every knee will bow down and our heats will cry out
Songs of freedom in Your name, oh, in Your name

Bring salvation, bring Your Kingdom
Let all that You have made bring glory to Your name
When we fall you are the Savior, when we call You are the answer
There is power in Your name, there is power in Your name

Everything I Need

Had be praying for wisdom and strength for some time now.. Ever prayed so hard about something you want yet knowing that it is not what God wants but still trying to debate and make it seem like it is what God wants?

That's what I am going through lately.. BUT knowing His words really opens up my mind and help me regain my senses. No matter how I try to make it look like I should get it, the Bible says otherwise. So I'm holding onto His words and stand firm on The Rock, my God.

Nobody said it will be easy to just let things go, when things seem so right.. Being in such a complicated situation really made me weak. Then another scripture came into my mind,

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong"

2 Cor 12:10

When I am weak, I am strong.. Holding on to this verse puts me at ease.. It gave me the courage, to do what I'm suppose to do...

It hurts so much that I cried.. I wished that I had been more rational in the beginning but I had messed up.. And I had hurt another...

Jesus.. Forever my strength :)

"Everything I Need" -- Kutless

When every step is so hard to take
And all of my hope is fading away
When life is a mountain that I can not climb
You carry me, Jesus carry me.

You Are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need

When every moment is more than I can take
And all of my strength is slipping away
When every breath gets harder to breathe
You carry me, Jesus carry me

You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need

You
You are everything I need
I love everything about You

You Are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need