Buzzing All About

And the morals of the story is....?

2011-09-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

A lawyer shared a story during break time today (we had a talk of legal issues in nursing). I find the moral of the story really interesting and I wanted to share this with everyone ^^

Here goes the version that I remember:

A bird is flying through in the midst of a very cold weather. It grew so cold that the bird froze and fell onto an open field. The bird laid there as it was too cold to move.
Then a cow passed by and shitted on the bird. The bird was trapped in the middle of the cow dung. Soon, the warmth of the shit thawed the bird. Feeling warm and cozy, the bird regains its strength and began to chirp happily.
The song of the happy bird grew louder and merrier. A cat noticed it and stepped up to the pile of shit. The cat dug into the pile of shit, found the bird and ate it.

The morals of the story is:
1. The one who shits on you is not always your enemy.
2. The one who pulls you out the the shit is not always your friend.
3. When you're in deep shit, shut your big mouth up.

Heh heh heh....

It all comes down to English

2011-09-15T03:30:00.000-07:00

Things are not getting any easier... I just feel like everything (well, almost) are on my shoulders. All assignments rushing in at the same time. I'm trying my best to finish them according to their priorities but the workload is still there.

Then there is the big problem: English. All our assignments are to be in English. My members, they can write in English but -- well.. you get the idea. So every single assignments have to go through me. Can anyone imagine how I feel??? If their English is acceptable and its only a few grammar mistakes here and there, I'm fine with it but I find myself deleting paragraphs and re-doing the whole thing! Gosh.. I really need to be stronger, tougher and more patient...

Ha! I just received a copy of the assignments that I'll need to edit. At first, there was suppose to be a meeting to settle this thing but apparently the girls in-charge said they want to rest for tonight so they just pass me the copy. Their intentions? At least the one that passed the copy to me was apologetic. Who is there to blame but myself when my English is the best in this group?? *tongues out* Hehehe...

Anyway, fwighting~ acha-acha!! ^^

Me? A leader??

2011-09-13T03:54:00.000-07:00

Out of a total of 39 girls in my batch, I am one of the 4 who had been chosen to lead one of the 4 research and management groups.. This position is being given by the tutor in-charge of our Semester. I gotta say that I'm honoured that I am among the 4 being elected, out of 39..

It's been almost 4 weeks now that I'd been "leading" a group of 10 girls of my own batch. I have to admit that it is no easy task as our project carries great deal of stress and responsibility.. Being the leader, I get to feel it more than the rest. Though I cannot take all the credits of leading as I have 3 co-leaders who are helping me out :)

I still can't imagine what did our tutor saw in me that she chose me to be one of the leaders. I mean, there are really quite a few of my group members that could be good leaders as well! Even the other tutor mentioned that why didn't this particular girl got chosen to lead anything? Well.. I guess I'll never know unless I ask my tutor in-charge myself!

All in all, I pray that God would grant me the strength to hold on and carry the responsibilities given to me. Thank you, Lord. Amen :)

2011-04-19T05:08:00.000-07:00

Wow wow wow.. Feels like I'd lived a few years instead of days.

I wanna thank God for being so much a part of my life~

My guitar life

2011-04-03T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well.. As most already know, I'd been picking up guitar lessons. It lasted only for one month so I did not expect much from it.

I decided to try out what my 'guitar teacher' suggested. He told me to go to church during worship practice and try playing along so that I may be able to play according to the tempo and get some experience as well.

I was late due to some last minute issues. But I still manage to reach there (praise God ^^). The worship leader for that day is really a wonderful fella. He knew I was coming and he actually laid out some extra song sheet on the table so that I can have it.

The experience of playing along with a band is really unbelievable! I manage to get the tempo right. Then I realized, I actually know how to play most of the chords. It's like one month of lessons really did mean something!

Though I'm not good at it but I'm learning. I wanna improve myself and maybe one day, I can finally learn to play the piano..

Sense vs Emotion

2011-03-24T03:15:00.000-07:00

Lately I'm feeling the change.. As if I'd grown out of my youth and officially into the adult world. It's really hard to imagine myself as a 23 years old living her life heading towards an unknown future..

Everyone has their own share of life, some had it hard while some don't; but no matter what life one has led, there will always be some regrets, be it big or small -- regrets that touch the very core of that person's life..

For myself, I really don't enjoy the hard times I've been and am going through. I hate it. I am just the type that only wants to have a carefree and worry-free life. That's a stupid statement, I mean, who wouldn't want to??

Lately there are some down times and things that happened is just swaying my stand. I though I had it contained but just took one evening to turn it all around..

I don't like this feeling: the feeling of being helpless..

Trying hard to keep myself checked but the heart just won't obey. As if it has a mind of its own. As if it wants to fight for its right.

The battle between sense and emotion. Who will win??

Happy birthday to me!

2011-02-20T06:15:00.000-08:00

I really had a blessed birthday today ^^

Before today, my cellgroup-mate from GTPJ bought doughnuts for an early birthday celebration. :)
I had a chocolate cake at midnight from my course-mates.
Then 2 cupcakes from my dear junior.
When I came back from the 'celebration', I get to read so so many messages on my fb wall and a few sms-es on my phone. Thank you all!! The best one is the wish all the way from someone who is in Hong Kong.. ^^
When I reached church, I got few personal birthday wishes and a birthday song sung by one of our church's top singer. Hahaha.. Appreciate it a lot ;)
Lunch was with mum at Nando's. Hehehe..
Then when I'm back in my hostel, my room-mates gave me warm wishes.. :)
To end the evening, I had another cake from my other course-mates. Few presents. Love it very much.
The best part is that I get to be Han Kyeong's wife. Hahahaha!!
I really had a great time.. Thank God for making me feel so great and thank all of you that had been apart of my day today. Love you all!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-13T19:20:00.000-08:00

My girlfriends and I went out yesterday and we shared what single ladies would share when we get together, especially when it's a day before Valentine's :P
I can't help re-thinking our situation and give some opinion here..
So here goes..

Just like a book with blank pages, women will let a man scribble and sketch on the "Introduction" page. Once she likes it, she opens up further into her story, starting "Chapter 1". If it works out, he'll be able to write on her pages til it says "The End".

But not all men knows how to write. I don't mean on their literature skills but their skill on keeping the book open. A woman is not just looking for an author, she's looking for THE author. According to her own preference though.

As far as I'd noticed, there are a few types of authors.

First are those who have seemingly endless supply of pen and ink.
They will just write and write and write and savage her pages on just "Chapter 1".
At first glance, one may think he is being passionate and extra loving but it's
freaking the book out! She'll end up being defensive.
"Chapter 1's" aren't meant to be long and exaggerated or neither should there be
any romantic development, they're meant to be short and leave everyone
wondering if this or that guy would end up with this girl or that? Right??

Second, there are the adventurous authors. These guys are so full with ideas that
they'll just attack any books that comes their way. Well, maybe not just any would
do but only books they decide that are qualified to carry their 'masterpiece'.
They're always coming up with new stories and never satisfied with just one book/story.
In their writing room, there are just piles and piles of unfinished books that
just sits there waiting for the author that thinks only of himself.

Then there's this author that I sorta don't respect. They are the type
that never learn how to appreciate the role of the book.
Books are not made to fly up to their author neither are they made to give
suggestions to their author on how the story should continue. To them authors,
they think that 'I should write on my book as little as possible or else she might
think I'm too desperate'. And this guy wouldn't even DARE to add her on fb! OH please... So adding a friend on fb is too desperate now la??
Authors should be passionate about writing their piece, to have the sense of 'want
to keep the story going'... Don't you think so?

This other author is the slow and easy type. He'll take his time on his book.
Taking his time and making every page meaningful. The story is written with care, sometimes too careful, yet he is able to make his book feel special and possibly, loved?
This seemingly perfect author has his downside as well,
a book may feel bored when the author takes too long a time on the plot development that never
show signs of climax or exhilaration. Who would enjoy a mundane story??
Everyone wants bits and pieces of excitement and adventure! :)

Well... That's about what I think I know. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!! ^^ Love ya all..

God with me

2011-02-01T07:04:00.000-08:00

I packed up my bags and hit the road. I followed every signs closely so that I don't miss any turning and end up lost.
But the signs are confusing or maybe it's just that my visions are blurr.. I end up lost no matter how hard I try to keep on the right track.
But throughout every step I take and every hurt inflicted, I find that God is there. Lovingly and faithfully walking ahead of me. I'm so grateful to have known such a wonderful Father, It's just unbelievable..
Yet... I wished if everything was clearer and simpler.
Maybe through this I can become a better person..? May God keep me..

Stunt

2011-01-26T05:13:00.000-08:00

It's funny and unbelievable how things turn around and the outcomes of my situation is really leaving me speechless.

At some point I'm very stunt at how God handles my situation and circumstance. He's amazing, awesome and indescribable.

All that I could wish for is that I could be a more discipline person, with more wisdom, courage and understanding. All these so that I may live the life that I should...

A bright future

2011-01-15T19:51:00.000-08:00

I had a great time alone with God in GT cell combine on Friday. The whole 2 hours were spend on our one on one encounter with God.
As Pastor Julie lead us, we enter into our own space and look unto our awesome Father and Master. It was an indescribable encounter and experience.
I'd always wanted to just sit at the altar and soak into God presence for as long as I want and last Friday was a fulfillment of that longing. At the altar I laid down everything and commit to God and God alone. Nothing else matters at that moment.
As I pray and soaked in His presence I saw a bright light. It was my future.. As if God is telling me that my future holds a bright light that will shine like nothing else..
Isn't being God's child amazing? It's not an easy journey but it is so satisfying :)

2nd Anniversary :)

2011-01-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

Today marks the day I first step into TTCL College of Nursing. It's been exactly 2 years now. Time really flies..
Tonight we'll be having a party where most of our batch will gather and celebrate ^^ Kinda look forward towards it. Hehe..

I lack of courage

2011-01-04T17:20:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted something for a long time and when it is finally within your grasp, you hesitate?
I had long dreamed of getting this certain thing. Now that it seems so close, I'm having a lot of doubts..
What if it doesn't turn out to be what I'd expected it to be?
What if the cons of the situation outweighs the pros?
What if I'm too inexperience to handle it?
What if I cannot carry out my role accordingly?
What if.. what if's....
For now, God had answered my questions with peace. As if it'll all turn out alright.. But still, it's going to be a situation that I am totally unfamiliar with.
Please grant me courage to face my future, Lord Jesus..

When?

2010-12-30T00:09:00.000-08:00

I'm curious on what am I getting myself into.. If I think through my situation, I know I'm not making a right decision. The more I play with the mud, the more I find myself covered in dirt.

I am enjoying the whole new experience of playing in this mud pool. Yet, I know that sooner or later I will have to stop. The question is when?

If I were to live without God, I would have sink into this pool and get myself into trouble and regrets. Yet, the principles that I'd learn in church is keeping me from falling off the cliff.
God's love is more important than anything.. I know that very well...

I know what am I suppose to do but I can't find the will to do it..

Making one's life worthwhile

2010-12-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

Someone recently asked "What is there to look forward to?"
I don't have an instant answer.. I enjoy my life. I love hanging around with everyone around me, laughing together, making lame jokes together... But life just can't be all that, right??

In the my Christianity point of view, a well-lived life would be living a life like Christ and bring people back to God.
I'm sounding like a pastor... -.-"
Well, anyway..
How should I type to make my meaning understandable..? Errrmm..

Basically, I want to live like how Jesus Christ lived. He was a blessing and He brought joy and healing to everyone He knows or came across..

That's what I look forward to each day -- To make people smile and to just be there for them.
A simple smile do go a long way..

I can't say that I'm so great as to be able to make everyone happy. I do hurt others intentionally at times...
But all in all.. I want to life a life worthwhile.

Someone else once said this :

Love does not make the world go round,
But love is what makes a life worthwhile...

Crossroad

2010-12-16T02:05:00.001-08:00

Stuck in a crossroad where I don't know which way to go. My logical mind is telling me to go one way while my emotion is telling me to go the other.
I find myself walking in between these two roads. Trying to make the most out of what both sides have to offer.
I'm still trying to find out which way is best. But I think my heart already know which way is best...
If only I know when to listen to my heart...

Jingle Bells~

2010-12-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

Christmas is COMING!! Can't you just hear the bells jingling behind every corner!

I am so looking forward to this Christmas. I am going to have a blast with my one week's leave before Christmas.

I'm gonna get this and do that..
Meet up with her and go out with them.
Practice for performance and perform in Church!

Joy to the world the Lord is come~~

Untitled

2010-12-13T03:04:00.000-08:00

Loads of things happened lately and I'm recently going through some issues that I don't know how to explain. Only a handful of my friends know the story. The rest don't even have a clue.

I'm confused yet I'm glad that I'm have God with me.

The feeling is indescribable.
Knowing that God grants peace.
Knowing that He cares and loves me.
Knowing that I am a special child of His, that he knows the real me inside.
Knowing that He knows what I am going through.
Knowing that He understands the situation that I'm in.
Being a child of God is such a privilege and comfort..

Down time

2010-12-09T05:28:00.000-08:00

I am stupid, naive, unintelligent, thoughtless, and blind! Sigh.. I wish I can let it all out somewhere. God please help me.

17th

2010-11-17T06:59:00.000-08:00

Exactly 5 months has passed without me realizing it. It is on a 17th that we left and it is also on a 17th that I met your brother that so much resembles you.

Today had been a great experience for me. Both in God's favor and in faith that I lead my day. God is great.

Literally every step made today was first made by God.

Today is the first time I played a guitar in public. Also the first time I led worship while playing an instrument. The first time I saw Joash's family, relatives and friends. The first time I felt God's eagerness to move through me.

Our God, Christ Jesus is real and I lived to witness that. All glory to God....

Treasure today ;)

2010-11-16T07:34:00.000-08:00

Complacency. We seldom use this word yet we practice it ever so often. For example, we grow complacent with the neighborhood we live in; we grow complacent with the service we get; we grow complacent with the services we provide; most of all, we grow complacent with our family and close friends.

Family and close friends are those that'll stand by you. Often times, they stand so close that we forgot that they're always there. Thus, we take them for granted.

How many times had I done so, taking my family and friends for granted. Not bothering to spend more time just to keep in touch. The common mistake that I do is abuse online social network. I don't want to regret my actions after I lose them forever...

Just a reminder to all plus myself:

Life is really fragile. You won't know who'll live to survive tomorrow.
Treasure today or regret tomorrow...

Gah.. How I wish that he's able to update his 'blank page' again...

Seed

2010-11-15T02:23:00.000-08:00

I was day-dreaming and I thought of my future... Missionary, although I don't know which sort, but I'm very sure I'm going to get involve in one someday.

Then I remembered of those that had shared the same dreams that I have. We shared and we talked. We even decided that we may meet in BCM someday! How I miss those times.

But friends come and go. Nothing last forever...

This dream of being a missionary of Christ, seeded in my heart. It hasn't grown much. My fault I guess. I'm just too uncertain of what's ahead that I just want to give up without even letting this seed break open.

Though my life has changed from the day I shared my dreams with you but the same seed remains. I'll just have to be brave enough to let it die first.

Once this seed dies, new leaves will appear. My story has just began...

"Hurt people hurt people; loved people love people"

2010-10-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

Pastor had always said : "Hurt people hurt people."
Confused? It means that people who were hurt will always hurt other people.

It's very true. Behind every hateful things a person does, lies a greater hurt in their hearts.
Many of us choose to repay an eye for an eye. Since you hurt me, I'll hurt you in return to get even.
This situation sounds so familiar to too many people... I'll bet everyone on earth had encounter this sort of situation.

But I hate this. I hate a world where people hate each other.
You're hurt inside, so what? What's the point of hurting the people close to you? Then the people whom you'd hurt will turn around and hurt someone else. There goes the never ending circle of hate..... Sigh..

What hurt people needs is love.
"What's the point of loving someone who hates you, who don't know how to return or appreciate my love?!" You might ask.
Then let me ask you this: "How is someone who grew up in hatred can ever learn how to love when no one had ever showed them how good love can be??"

"Loved people love people"....

Love is what makes a life worthwhile

2010-09-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

Imagine this:

You had been working on a group project for 2weeks straight, less play and less sleep.
Then one of your group member just come up from nowhere,
flip through your 'sweat and blood' and said
"Useless!"

Lets add some spices to the story...

(Scenario A)

You burned with anger and disappointment that your project was not well appreciated.
You sulked and excuse yourself to get a drink.
When you came back to the group, you unintentionally overheard their conversation
"This is total crap!"
"I wonder did he/she even put any effort.."
"Total disappointment le! I seriously cannot believe lo"

(Scenario B)

You burned with anger and disappointment that your project was not well appreciated.
You sulked and excuse yourself to get a drink.
As you went to get your drink, one of your group member caught up with you.
He/she said
"I can see that the portion that you prepared was very well done. But it wasn't what we wanted.
We are actually focusing on a different point of view towards the topic.
Maybe you could have done it *blah blah blah*. Keep it up! :)"
When you came back to the group, you unintentionally overheard their conversation
"This is total crap!"
"I wonder did he/she even put any effort.."
"Total disappointment le! I seriously cannot believe lo"

Now, think again. What will you feel in both scenario?
*Honestly, I will definitely dislike my group members for criticizing me so badly. :P*

In Scenario A, I would have given up on my project if my semester results doesn't depend on it. I would have given up on my members as well.

As for Scenario B, that one member that came after me is the key person that will pull me through this situation. After all, it's my fault that I did the wrong project.

If only there are more key person like that all around. Someone who actually sees your value. They see the 360 degree of you, not just your mistakes and failures but also sees you as a human being with feelings.
Don't judge a book by its cover, they say. But how many people dislike others just because they do not like what they see??
Can there be more love around? Would YOU share this love around?

A beloved friend and brother once quoted this:

Love does not make the world go round but love is what makes a life worthwhile..

Will you go and make someone's life worthwhile?

Prayer Answered without realization

2010-09-05T02:23:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful that I am a Christian, that I get to know my God and having Him knowing me back..
I had been in a really stressful situation lately and I was struggling really hard to find an answer and if possible, a solution.
So, I prayed and asked for a sign from God a couple of days ago. But the next day, I found that things turned out more complicated. And I was really in a dilemma.
Then today, I brought up the issue in prayer to God once again. The moment I asked
"why the issue turn out to be more complicated? Why did it happened the way it did??"

*whamp!*

I realized that the complication is actually a solution to my situation... I just hadn't been looking at it in a 360 angle.

Glory to God! He works in ways no one can understand. And I definately took few days to understand an answered prayer.

Focus, Beatrice, Focus..

2010-09-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired of myself always being so unfocused.
Just when I thought that I'll be able to focus my mind and give my 100% into it, I side-tracked just because I stumbled into something else that interests me.
I'm kinda fed-up with this attitude of mine. Why can't I just concentrate on one thing and loose focus on everything else?
That's the new-age weakness: Multi-tasking!
Sigh~~~ I wish I could be a good girl and keep my focus on this one thing and not the 'interesting' stuff that just pops up from nowhere.

Goodbye!

2010-08-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

All good things will come to an end...
'My precious' said goodbye to me this morning, seeming like it's telling me that it's time to move on and let go. And I guess that's what life is all about:

Leave the past, move on and grow up.

Reflecting on the past experiences that I've had, I'd really grown up a lot. And saying goodbye had left me with more growing up to do.

I know I can do this moving on thing. Finally, I know I can do this.

I'm glad that I manage to have a last experience with 'my precious' :)
Note to 'my precious': Moving on doesn't mean I'll forget you, you always be special and one of a kind ^^ Thank you for being with me for so long!

Living for the living

2010-07-31T07:34:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of Joash just now and the more I do, the more I felt restless.
I never knew that losing someone close would pain a person for so long. It seems like the pain could never reduce, it has only been attacking less frequently.
Then I looked onto God in prayer. Praying to get an answer or just a bit of peace to calm down.

This is what God told me: "Do not think of those that had passed away. Instead, think of those that are still living."

So true are God's answer when one earnestly seeks Him. I pray that I WILL be able to live for the living.. Amen.

Glorious Day (Living He loved me) - Casting Crowns

2010-07-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

verse 1:
One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

chorus:
Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

verse 2:
One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me

verse 3:
One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He’s ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again

bridge:
One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine

A wonderful song of how our Saviour came and rose again, bringing us a chance to be apart of the Glorious Day, when He returns again.
By living, He showed how He loved us
By deciding to die, He washed us clean and gave us new lives
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Then He came back alive, proving that we will live with Him forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day..

My life in hostel

2010-07-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

My hostel is located behind Assunta Hospital and I'm on the 9th floor.

A view from my level: evening sun

Hostel cat; a distraction from the stress of studies ^^

I was supposed to be studying ;p

My classroom:

My hostel under the moonlight

my room is on d highest floor, 2nd from right

Always Enough - Casting Crowns

2010-07-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

In the dry and weary land
Lord, You are the rain
In the sea of shattered ones
Your love comes rushing in

You hold the world within Your hands
and see each tears that falls
Through every fire and every storm
You're always enough, always enough

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow
Hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak

Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You're always enough for me

You keep my heart in perfect peace
My life is in Your hands
When confusion hides my way
You're always enough, always enough

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow
Hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak

Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You're always enough

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice that He lives in me
God on high, He has set me free
Worthy is the Lord

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice that He lives in me
God on high, He has set me free

Worthy is the Lord

In the dry and weary land
Lord, You are the rain...

"You will be my strength through the ages, O Lord. I find peace in You. You are always enough. I'm so grateful to have You knowing me.." :)

remember that I cared

2010-07-01T03:40:00.000-07:00

I don't understand what am I feeling right now..

Is it stress from my exam?
The piling procedures?
Misunderstanding between my friends?
The death of a friend?
Lack of sleep?
or..
An unrequited love?

I feel like a bird being caught by a barbed fence. As I struggle in attempts to escape, I find myself getting more tangled up within the fence. The sharp ended barbs piercing and injuring me mercilessly. I cry out for help but I find my friends caught in their own barbed fence. There's just no one there to save me.

As I lay trapped, left with so little strength that I can hardly breathe. I realize the main reason that I caught myself in this fence.

Memories of him just keep flooding my mind. I knew I was never good enough for him but I never thought to lose him in this way; to know that he loves another in this sort of manner..

I love you, I really did. I blame myself for not being initiative enough to approach you the time I realized my feelings for you. Instead of encouraging you to fall for me, I drew myself away from you. Deep down in my heart, I selfishly think that you belong to me. Naive, I was so naive.

I had never met a guy like you, never had I experience so much care and attention (perhaps?) from such a gentleman. I'll smile whenever I recall the time we went out, the time we spent together. You really took care of me. For the first time, someone actually looked back and search for me when I'm lost in a crowd. Then you stayed so closed to me as if afraid that I'll get lost in the crowd again.

But you are someone else's man now. I'll just have to accept the fact.

The fact that I'd lose you forever. No matter how much my heart regrets and cry, you'll never be by my side ever again.

Goodbye, God bless and remember that I cared...

Last tribute to Joash Wee

2010-06-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Dan Loo, I was able to go down to Muar to attend Joash's wake service last evening.

Having my hometown being Batu Pahat, Muar is a familiar place to me. I'd been wanting to return since the last time I was there during CNY. I'd never imagine myself returning in this manner, under such circumstances.

Anyway, I am really glad that I'm able to go on this trip with Dan n Nick, which are (sort of) my childhood friends from church. I can't imagine myself going on this trip alone. Oh, and I thank God for making all these possible and granting us journey mercy.

Much to Dan's denial, I helped in getting us into Muar.

Finding the church was not easy but we managed. Thank God I can read mandarin, which those 2 guys couldn't.

The service starts at 8pm. We got there at 7.30 so there was time to kill. So, we went to pay our respect to the 5 family members.

We entered that specially set up room. 5 caskets were arrange in a semi circle.

I went ahead with the 2 guys behind me. It's harder for them as the guys had always been closer to Joash.
1st was Mdm Lim, she looks beautiful.
Followed by Mr Roland, who I understand to be a great leader and mighty man of God.

As much as I wanted to approach the next casket the moment I stepped into this room, my feet refuses to go any further. So near yet I couldn't bear to take those few steps...
Joash's picture stood at a table beside the casket, he was smiling so brightly.

I paused for about a second. I just didn't want to get too much attention on myself so I carried my heavy feet and stood by where Joash was.
I stared at the wooden framework without looking in. After slowly placing a carnation on top the casket, I turn towards the head of this wooden box.

There he was, lying so peacefully. The first thing that caught my eyes were Joash's makeup. It was really thick and it's not his natural colour. Then I saw skin grafts covering most part of his face. It must have been to cover up his wounds. He must have been really badly wounded.
I continue to look on his face, his thick eyebrows (Wai Chi said they looks like Crayon Shin Chan's) stood out. His face was nicely shaved. His thick lips.

I could spot a faint smile on his face. How I wished just to be able to see him smile again..

Tears began to invade my eyes. It took some effort but I fought them back because I know very well that Joash is very much alive. And most of all, he won't be able to enjoy Heaven with all of us crying..

My heart whispered 'I miss you Joash' and then together with the guys, I left the room.

As sad as I cannot imagine, Dan created this smiley face..

After the service, we visited Joash one last time. I passed by Joash's dad and in my heart I thank him for Joash being a part of my life.
I was much stable than I thought when I reached Joash. He definately looked as if he's smiling slightly. Instead of wanting to cry, I actually wanted to take his picture and save it so that I can show Joash when I meet him in Heaven once again. I can sort of imagine him making a funny face when he sees what the undertakers did to his face :)

Side-track:

my 20th birthday present from Joash and Eliza.
it looks worn out now cos I wear it a lot.

Joash with the 2 birthday girls of 2008
(I celebrated my birthday together with Wai Chi)

the last time I saw Joash during the YES alumni reunion of YES'10 in Jan

My last photoshot with him..

"Joash, I hope this will be the last post dedicated for you. I know I'll have to move on but I'll keep the memories we had for the rest of my life. But then again, this doesn't mean I will break my promise to whack you double hard when I meet you again! ;)"

We are inspired by you, Joash ;)

2010-06-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

to my fellow YES-ians of 2008:
"As we had always said tat we are a special group. We really are. Bonded in spirit n hand-chosen by Christ. Wit only 1 Joash, it wasn't enough to impact this world. But by d death of Jo, so many more Joash-to-be were inspired. Let's impact d world, YES-ians! In memories of Joash!"

I'm slowly able to let Joash go.. Compared to the 1st day I got the news, I'm much better. Of course, I still wish this is all a joke and Joash would just pop up from behind us and give his infamous smirk once again...

But what's past is passed. I will live up to what I promised God today, that is to live a live like Joash did and finish what Joash had intended to do for the world when he was around.

Joash's fire for God will continue to burn within us the YES-ians! Amen.

Memorial of Joash Wee

2010-06-19T03:20:00.000-07:00

A memorial was held in Taylor's Lakeside College this morning. I sincerely and deeply thank my God for making it possible for me to attend this event. Be it with transport or permission to take leave, I praise God for it.

Joash was a great guy, loving and caring but I never realized how many people he had touched til I attended this memorial.

Quite a lot of friends of Joash came, ranging from housmates to college mates, church mates to random friends.

During the eulogy (where random friends would share about Joash), everyone talked about his smile. That smile is describe as one of a kind, dazzling, warm, friendly, welcoming, comforting and most of all: a smile that touches one's heart.

I knew Joash cares for people but when I heard stories of HOW he cared for people, I was amazed at how far Joash would go to help a friend, be it a close friend or not. Joash would always be there for anyone, even a stranger.

I heard of how he'll let a needy friend he knew only for few days to stay over at his place;
how he went all the way from subang to angkasapuri (KL) to meet a good pal who had lost herself in KL (and no one from KL was willing to help her). Just a phone call saying :"Can you come to Angkasapuri and meet me now?" without asking an explaination, he left his college and picked her up;
how he never complain of heavy assignments or delayed worship practices;
how he would be an advisor in any sort or situation;
how he would lighten any dark atmosphere;
Joash is a walking lamp of God.

Of course, he's not an all perfect guy. I also heard of how he would mess up his house. Leaving his stuff everywhere (even on his housemate's bed). Dirtying everything in the house. :)

Everyone, this is Joash Wee...

Such a sweet guy. Fun, loving and selfless.
I'm missing you dearly, fellow YES-ian.

In Loving memories of Joash Wee

2010-06-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

I first met Joash in YES '08. He made an impression in me during YES because he was late on the first day of YES and pastor used him as to help in his illustration as a certain king in the Bible.

Joash is a very approachable guy, easy going and friendly. That was my 1st impression of him.
As the days pass, Joash shows himself to be a leader and a true man of God.
He reflects the ways of God straight from his heart, he knows God.
He sings, he plays the guitar and drum. Multi-talented.

A charming man and a wonderful friend:
Joash Wee RQ
11/10/1987 - 17/6/2010

A great guy: Joash Wee

2010-06-18T03:56:00.000-07:00

In memories of Joash Wee

17.6.10
Waking up from my nap at 5.20pm, I switched on my laptop while waiting for dinner time. Firefox window pop up and my facebook homepage appeared. Browsing through my homepage, I saw that Joash was tagged in a video, it says "This song is specially for Joash and his family who passed away this morning. Our deepest condolences to your family....."

Shocked, unbelief and questions crawled up and wrapped around me.
It can't be, it's only his family that passed, right? Joash's still alive, right? These were my thoughts.

Trying to confirm my doubts, I clicked into Joash's facebook profile. Trying my best to convince myself that Joash is not gone.

Clicking down his profile, all that flashes pass my eyes where messages like "Rest in peace... joash" and "joash....we will miss u..rest in peace~~". I quickly screen through all the messages, trying to find a sign that this is not true.

In vain, all was in vain. I gave in. Joash and his family died in a car crash about 8am in the morning... I continue scrolling down the page, tears starts to swim but I'm determine to find out more on what had happened. Finally, I lost control and broke down...

I cried and cried. My room-mates stayed by me but the tears just won't stop. My heart tore and screamed that this can't be true. Not when we hadn't meet in a while, not anytime so soon!

2 hours passed and I fought back my tears as I didn't want my room-mates to worry. Yet, my heart continued to cry and cry.

Later, my friends here found out and we cried together. It didn't last long as I did not want to sympathy. I want Joash alive again. Trying my best to not break down, I distracted myself with practical practices. Each laugther I made did not reached my heart. I felt as if my heart went together with Joash. I hold back my tears, there're just too many people around.

Bedtime finally came, I climbed up to bed at 12mn. Telling myself to calm down and take my much needed sleep, I closed my eyes. Tears just rolled down my cheek unconciously.

Unable to take those tears, I tried to fight it and went to wash my face. I wanna run away, just run to a place where I can scream and shout out how I missed him, how I wished that he's still around. But there's no where to run to, so I stood by the window and whispered everything I wished to tell Joash.

Another hour passed, I could finally get some sleep...

Praise Him!

2010-05-18T22:33:00.001-07:00

Stucked in this deep pit, dark and lonely.. I cried out to God hoping for a way out.

I waited and waited.. Hanging onto the last bits of strength that I have.

Just when I thought that I'll have to struggle out of this pit with or WITHOUT God's help. He came to me, the bits of strength that He gave me turned and grew into an unimaginable power.

I found myself praising Him and being so grateful to Him..

Jesus knows

2010-05-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

Last week was a great week where God lead me through as if He was by my side. I praise Him for that, really.

This week on the other hand, is really a week of stress and depression whereby my standing with God is really put into the test.

I wonder, Lord. What is it that I can possibly get from this survival type of testing? Am I that strong that I can pull through all these? I'm so pressed down that I can hardly breathe.

Today I cried out to You again and again. My heart tore and crumbled by the pressure that I am facing. My mind keeps repeating: 'I want more of You, God. Help me!'

At the midst of all I'm in now, my ears hears this faint wispers from You: "It's not about you but it's about Me, the Lord of all, Creator of the Heavens and earth, the ruler of Kingdoms & the Prince of Peace."

God will carry me through

2010-05-10T08:23:00.000-07:00

Feeling like a trash... Like a piece of tissue being thrown away after 1 use.

I don't mind doing favours for people once in a while but college is really putting too much pressure on me.

I can handle pressure but this is too much for me. It's just not me to face all these in one go.

People turn to me (sometimes) for help but when I look around, I find myself alone. There's just no physical being by my side that will help me through my situation.

I can only turn to God but I really wish for a friend, just one true friend that will be there for me; whom I can rely on.

blank

2010-05-10T03:32:00.000-07:00

I'm 22 yrs old this year. Starting to feel so old. Seeing people around me getting hooked and tying the knot really makes me feel "left-out".

I want to experience the feeling of being secure, being able to be cared for. I'm so tired of caring for others, putting up to everything that comes my way, swallowing everything on my own.

I want to have a relationship where I can be that important person to that someone who will be my important person.

But all in all, my God had sustained me and carried my burdens all these years. I'm surviving but am still praying... ;)

Overworked

2010-02-06T18:57:00.000-08:00

We'd been working for almost 11 weeks and we have another week to go until we are officially on block for studies.

My friends are falling sick, some continued working while most have gotten MCs. There are few that got admitted..

Yup, I got my 1st MC as well. But that was a week ago due to URTI. Been coughing pretty badly back then.

I went to visit 2 of my friends that were admitted yesterday. I can't helped but assume that we'd really been overworked.

Need some time out!! >.<

2010-01-17T06:20:00.000-08:00

Sigh... Work's been testing my patience greatly lately... Getting blasted from both superiors and peers. That's what I get for being the most junior working in the ward right? I hate this new ward.

Am I too submissive that I get blasted all the time?

I told my friends my stories. One of them (who is working with me) finally believed when she saw it happening in front of her. She didn't believe me 100% at first because she can't believe that a person can be bombed so many times in a week. Instead of feeling sorry for me, she find my situation entertaining.

*smile* Ya, it was quite funny that out of everyone there, I am the one being at the right time and right place when the blasting happens.

A test to improve my patience? Maybe to build up my response towards an unfriendly person?

Everyday I'm suffering. Wanna cry but I guess I'm feeling more anger than sorrow in my heart. Gotta cheer up asap or else.. Hmmm, wonder what will happen??

Should go out party and enjoy some time out from work soon... Hehe...

From The Inside Out - Hillsong United

2009-12-31T21:08:00.000-08:00

A thousand times I've failed

Still Your mercy remains

Should I stumble again

I caught in Your grace

Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing You praise

Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul I give You control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out Lord my sould cries out

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T08:52:00.001-08:00

Welcome Year 2010! It's a new beginning of another year. I assume that my church back in Ampang had ended their New Year's watchnight a while ago. Ah.. I do miss RCKL.
Church Camp was a blessing from God. If it's not for Him, I don't think I could be attending this Camp at all!
I feel so like a new person in Christ. He had gave me new confidence in myself, which I was really lacking because I was only relying on my own strength. God is an awesome God, He knew what I was lacking and He restored it throughout this camp. And I know, through God, I can do all things!! Glory to God.
May I hold on to what I'd purpose in my heart and to serve Him and Him alone with all that I am. Amen.

YAds Mission Trip

2009-11-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

November 28 2009, I joined a mission trip to a Myanmar Refugee Camp organised by my church's Young Adults (YAds) ministry..

All the children are in front, YAds tean are at the back.

We gave them some treats as Christmas gifts

Ben is teaching d teens how to shake a tin. Hahaha. It's actually workshop time where Ben and Iggy taught them to make some noise ;)

And here's Iggy looking exactly like a tutor

And they all 'bang' together

The girls sang a Burmese song for us

The rest sang along

The youngest performing a song they learned from their workshop

A slightly older group dancing and singing another song from workshop

And another group with another song

Then lastly, the teens from my workshop making some noise

Final shot

It was overall a really memorable day.. I wish I could be more involve in church activities. I miss being active in church...

What too much study will do to a person

2009-11-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

This happened a couple of days ago, a girl went crazy and decided to apply what she learned...

Elephantitis

Brain tumour

Absess on the head

Haemorrhoid

Waliao..!

2009-11-17T20:49:00.000-08:00

Siao! Posting until 20th of Feb..!! No CNY leave lo. No birthday leave also T.T

I'm just being irrelevant

2009-11-16T08:46:00.001-08:00

There are so many times where I wish that I'm not the one mentioned or invovled..

But this time, how I wish that I am the one in relation to.

Why can't I be chosen? and why not?

Worst December yet to come...

2009-11-10T00:14:00.000-08:00

Too much work, too little time.. December's coming and my work load is piling up. One month's posting and I'm suppose to get supervision and perform all the procedures that I'd learn this semester and also satisfy them with my skills. Argh!! So many procedures!! Here's the list:

Serving medications

Perform Simple Dressing

Injection - On 3 different sites: Intramuscular, Subcutaneous and Intradermal

Nasogastric tube insertion

Catheterization

Last Office

etc.

In one month??!! Please be serious..

Gone are all the enjoyments for year-end holidays....

Cell Group in PJ

2009-11-06T06:58:00.001-08:00

I attended my 3rd cell group in PJ tonight. My 1st time was with a younger group, while my 2nd and 3rd are with an older group (most of the members are working young adults).

Back in Ampang, we are used to call cell groups as HOME group (Home Open for Ministry and Evangelism). So, my way of differentiating my PJ group and Ampang group is by calling PJ's group as Cell group while Ampang's group is HOME group.
Other than that, my HOME group (HG) in Ampang consist of younger folks. I'm the oldest in that group of mine. Even older than my HG leader. Hehehe...
I used to be the assistant leader of my HG and I'm quite talkative back there. I would safely say that my HG reduce in 50% of noise pollution after my absence. :P

Being a newbie and considered being young in my new cell group (CG) is a whole new experience. Being in a CG, I'm reminded very much of my own HG back in Ampang: noisy, happening in some ways, poking fun at people and chatting about nothing at all. I do miss those moments with my old bunch but being in a new cell is quite an experience as well:

I get to be the quiet one for once.

Hahaha... Not just that la, I get to experience being someone new in a new environment; I get to mix with an older group; and I get to know new people from different backgrounds.

I love my new CG, hopefully I will open up to the members soon enough. There are some of them that I really love being around with ^^

I just LOVE comedies!

2009-11-05T01:07:00.000-08:00

I went for movie with a few friends yesterday evening. The movie was a blast for us. I enjoyed it the most. Why? One of my friend said that the whole cinema was filled with my roars of laugther. I'll say it could have been worst if there weren't strangers around. Hahaha..

I loved the movie but animation being animation, d plot can't go anywhere far from d norm..

Introducing Flint, the inventor and his trusted assistant, Steve, the monkey.

[Flint actually invented a monkey thought translator (it's the machine on Steve's chest)

So, Steve actually 'talks' in d movie, a word at a time.]

Flint's taste of success comes in the rain of Hamburgers!

[Flint invented a food maker that transform water molecules into real food. Due to some accident, his machine flew into d sky and it started to rain food.]

Then, there's d Eiffel Sandwich, ...

.. Jellybean Rainbow...

..and Ice cream snow.

Soon, things went out of control..

[ Flint's machine's 1st sign of malfunctioning was oversized food. ]

..And turned into a disaster..[Italian a-la storm]

The food just came pouring out from the food dam.[food-alanche]

At the end, the hero saved the day and the end ;)

Now, for my favourite part of d movie *drums*

Hahaha... Seriously, I cannot help loving how they patch this movie up.

This is Baby Brent:

He's a star since he was a baby. Lost his sense of belonging when Flint became famous. He decided to fly together with Flint's group (the machine remained in the sky after the accident) to destroy the food machine for one purpose:

He believes he would find his purpose in life when he flies up there.

Well.. To cut d story short, he did found his *choke* purpose in life after being swallow whole by a headless man-size roasted chicken. He didn't die but he took over d chicken's body *pfft* I couldn't get a pic but just imagine a roasted chicken wit the head of Brent (from the pic above). Yup, a human head with chicken wings for hands.. Let's quote what he said when he tooked over the chicken's roasted body:

"I'm no more Baby Brent!! *looking triumphant* I'm Chicken Brent!"

"Chicken" Brent actually tore off his diapers when he said that.. I was laughing so loud when I watch that scene ;p

After that he was forced to jump off from the mutated killer food machine and tried to fly with his roasted wings. He FLAPPED his roasted chicken wings!! I could have been rolling on the floor with laughter if I wasn't sitting on the chair.

My next favourite scene is Steve's fighting scene. Little Steve here is really fond of Gummi Bears. The pic above is Steve's expression when he saw 3 or 4 Gummi Bears tearing off the wing of the flying 'car' that it is in. Those Gummis were all an inch taller than Steve but Steve took all of them off. Eating them in the process. Hahaha.. Cruel yet cute ;)

I think I got carried away with this post. Hehe.. Go Chicken!!

On Block once again

2009-10-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm back to studies once again. Meaning that I would not have to work for a whole month. Sounds cool but it's not... Sigh.. I just can't imagine what type of fury from the tutors is awaiting me once the tomorrow comes. I'm sure we're going to suffer from tonnes of lecturing, not all of us but I'm one of those who will "get it".
Life here is getting worse by the days. How I envy those who are having normal college life: no curfews, no complusory attendance, no posting. Most of all, they can join any church events whenever they want. I really lost my freedom.
Anyway, I thank God for my optimism. Hahaha.. At least I'm learning to make time for God. Learning to seek God on my own, without any push from the back. I'm all on my own. I plan of taking leave so that I may join youth camp this year end. I'm sure I'll have the time of my life ;)
May God continue to stay by my side. That's more than enough for me.
You know, I'm really glad to have Jesus as my Saviour and friend. All glory to God!

What if something... happens?

2009-10-07T05:45:00.000-07:00

A grave mistake happened today. I can't explain everything in detail (you should know why). I can only write that someone did a mistake and the other was in terrible pain after that. I had never seen a rational person becoming so restless and so ... I'm out of words to explain his expression. He was definately in extreme pain. Turning and moving on his bed just to find a position that he won't be in pain anymore. He never found one...

It made me mad when I realized that his pain could have been avoided..

My anger was directed at the unknown person that made the mistake... But all I can do is just let my superiors handle the situation.

That person (whoever it is) shouldn't have made the mistake. Yet, there's no such thing as being perfect in everything you do, no matter how experience you are.

I realize that I may be the one who might make the same mistake one day. How much pain I could cause someone in my care...

It makes me kinda worried of what would happen in my future carreer.."what IF something happens?"

How long would the less fortunate have to wait?

2009-09-11T07:57:00.001-07:00

It was my off day yesterday and I went back home (to Ampang, that is). After I settled myself at home, I went out to get some groceries to bring back to my hostel. I finished my shopping and waited for a bus at the bus stop. During my wait, a blind Malay couple walked over and I moved aside so that they won't bump into me. They stopped just between me and 2 Malay mid-age ladies. I observed them and wondered to myself whether or not both of them are really blind. The wife was but I wasn't so sure about the husband as he is constantly 'looking' over to his wife who was behind him on his right side. Then I decided that they are both blind when I noticed that the wife was holding on to the husband's right shoulder.
I finally saw my bus coming from afar and was ready to board my bus. Then, I looked at the couple again, wishing that someone would talk to them. Though not 100% sure that the husband is blind but a girl finally mustered the courage and asked the husband who was closer to her whether he's waiting for a bus. He 'looked' at her and said they're wanted a taxi. Yup, their both unable to see, I thought to myself. Then, the girl straight away hold on to his left hand and told him to follow her. Cutting the story short, the couple got their taxi and headed home. I didn't missed my bus though, I sure those who takes public buses knows how long a bus will wait at some stations.
I wondered... If the girl had let her dignity won and left the couple as they are, how long would they have to wait before someone else comes up to them? I kinda pity them.. We 'normal' people just have to wait for a public transport to arrive but they have to wait for someone who would come up to them and who is willing enough to wait for their transport as well. How long would they have to wait? If only we would let God's love take over us in these situations, life would have been much easier for the less fortunate, right?

I Never Thought That I'll Be Leaving For Good

2009-08-17T06:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm back in d hospital once again. Time had just passed so silently yet so quickly.. Now, I'm sort of living away from home and church(RCKL). I didn't expected this at all, I would say, before I came into college, I thought that I could go back at LEAST once a week but-- that was just my thought.. During my posting in the Assunat, I seldom go back, twice a week or so but church-- nope,I'm on duty on Sundays (Thank God that there are churches in PJ that I can attend no matter how flexible my schedule is). I definately miss RCKL.. I really never imagined myself leaving RCKL ever and *whamp* I can be away for months at a time.

My tutor once said: "When I first join this college (yes, she's my senior. I think about 10 years my senior), I never thought that I was leaving home for good but I was..."
...That's how all of us here feels...

Other than that, my friends are flying off to further their studies overseas- one by one they're flying off. Some took off without me realizing because I'm away..

This is really the age where I realized that I'm on my own, those around me will never always be there. They have their own path to take and so do I. I chose my path and left them first and now it's their turn, one by one. Day by day, my time with them are nearing the end of the thread. I feel so-- vulnerable. It's like nothing in this world is permanent. Everyone have their own ways and future... All I can silently hope for is that I can once again enjoy everyone's company together with God once we rejoin Him in Heaven one day.

I am changing everyday over here, I wonder how will the rest of them be like when we meet again..? I miss all of those I'm away from that I know and had known, some I'd known for so long and some that I'd known for a short period but had shared grat memories (Form 5, 6 and YES ^^).. I really miss the time we spent together!

A Prayer behind my curtains

2009-07-31T21:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Father,
I had to admit that I find myself drifting off course from You now and then.It all started ever since I came into college. It's getting more often recently though. I just don't understand why can't I find time to spend doing devotion, meeting you in the privacy of my corner in my room. I feel like I'm living a hypocritical life. Cos when I'm alone-- I feel like I'm living a different life...
I know that I'm walking in a path that You had plan, this I'm more than 100% sure. But there's just this emptiness that thrist for more. I want more of You in my life. I want to experience a Spirit-filled life every day and night. From sunrise to sunrise, I want to FEEL You. I'm greedy for more of You, Lord... It's just not enough the way it is, I STILL want more and more and more-- for eternity, til the end of times...

Amen.

Update

2009-07-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

Last week of the new batch's orientation. I'm officially uninvolved with them from now on. But studies' getting tougher. Tutors are forcing us to do revision before class.. (We get sent out of class if we cannot answer her questions in the beginning of class T.T)
What more? My annual leave is being postponed.... I can't join the YAD's outing. Really disappointing..........................................................
Ok, I'm sulking. Haiz, have to live with it. All the best from God to me!

On the way to Stress

2009-07-01T21:54:00.001-07:00

So many stuff to handle..! Due to our memory lost of what we've learned in Sem 1, our tutor wants us to do presentations of specific topics.. Then she warned us to make sure we present tomorrow. Walau, one day's time for preparations?? Haiz.. We should have prepared ourselves better before class starts. Then, this wouldn't have happened.
Orientation is still to come. Complains to handle. I need to sleep..

A new intake in college

2009-07-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

So, today is the 1st day my juniors enter this college. I'm one of their orientators...
Well, today's orientation was-- something new. It's like I got to see myself in their places when I was orientated this January. And being a senior, WOW..!
There's more to come! I'm just too exhausted to blog any more..

Annual Leave Confirmed!!

2009-06-29T08:40:00.001-07:00

I'll be enjoying my Annual Leave from 30th August to 5th September ^^
Finally, another week to enjoy once again. See what plans can I make for that period..

The Subjects I'm Taking

2009-06-26T01:12:00.000-07:00

I wanna blog about the subjects I'm taking and had taken:

1st Sem:
We studied a normal body's anatomy and physiology, which covered the structures and functions every organ and (I think) every cell. Basically it's about how a normal body function and what is it made up of.
Then there's the Principles and Practices of Nursing, which is about practical stuff to do in the hospital. This sem only covered a small part of it-- bed-making, cleaning patients, collecting specimens, admission, *bla, bla, bla..*.
We also learned psychology for nurses, a part of it are about the mental state of sick, dying people, children and old folks. Another part is about human memory and human needs. I didn't really like this subject.
Another subject is Environment and Nutrition. The subject title says it all ;)
We had English and Communication classes as well.

Now, my 2nd Sem:
1. Anatomy and Physiology once again but as far as I know, this time we're going into the complicating details of hormones, defensive system and diseases (of course not as detail as specialists la).
2. Infection and Inflammation. Can you believe that? Going into all the details of the causes of infections and inflammations? Defense sytem once again..
3. Fluids, Electrolites and Burns. We will learn about how to treat burns and the complications of burns and the different types of it. For electrolites, it's something about the acid-alkaline balance and the charged ions stuff. As for fluids, it's body fluids.
4. Microbiology and Parasitology. Which is about microorganism (eg: virus and bacteria) and parasites.
5. Pharmacology. All about medicines..
6. Principle and Practices of Nursing II. Further complicating procedures to learn la.
Then, we're doing English again.

Wah.. a lot right?

Walau!

2009-06-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

I really dun expect Sem II to be so stressful so soon...!! Ahh~~ So straining. Two assignments done followed by another pending and another to be confirmed. Then there's just so much information to sqeeze into the tiny cavity of my mind.. T.T

Blank

2009-06-24T04:01:00.001-07:00

I'm still getting ready the songlist for this Sunday's Powerkids worship.. I'm so out of inspiration..!! *O God, please give me the wisdom and whatever that's necessary to meet up with this worship. I CAN'T do this without You.*

I've been away from chuch for quite some time dy... Before last week, it's been 2 months that I'd never seen the kids in church dy. I really think I should start investing on the lastest children's worship album...

So blessed

2009-06-23T07:44:00.000-07:00

Here I am facing a new semester, my 2nd semester for my nursing course. It's interesting to know that I'm actually so and so a good learner (Haha.. Not that good but not bad either). I could catch up easily when I put on an effort and I don't seem to fall much. I managed to score a fair result for my 1st Sem (Didn't expected to be so blessed.. ^^). Many other things happened and was taken on and overcomed in the Name of the Lord.. Amidst everything, I can see that God is there.. All glory to God!!

How can I live without Him?? Just last week, I decided to double my offering (on my 1st Sunday in RCKL after 2 months), and *pop* I was blessed my a new pair of jeans (that I'd been needing to but for the past few months) AND 2 watches (which I really, really really love) from my mom. You see, after taking my couse, it's unusual that I go shop with my mom and I had never let her pay for my "groceries". It so happened that I didn't have my money with me when my mom brought me shopping. I didn't considered it as God's blessing right away. The fact of my offering strucked me after when I was admiring my new watches. Then, I realized that all these are directly from God, through my mother.. What a Father! ^^ To give His daughter gifts on Fathers' Day..!! I love Him so..

~Give thanks to the Lord,
For His love endures forever~

I miss RCKL!!

2009-06-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

So it's been almost 2 months that I'd been posted to the hospital. And most of all, it's gonna end on the 20th of June. I'll be a Sem 2 student on the 21st (^.^) time really flies.

I'd been attending Glad Tidings PJ for 2 weeks now. I'd joined one of their Cell Groups. I had this kinda weird feeling when I attended Cell yesterday night. It's like everything is reminding me of the times I had with those from Revival Centre.. At 1st it was like my normal HOME group, where everyone's "late". Then everyone just chit chat and drags the time. After that, having icebreaker. To make my flashback worst, the icebreaker was 'Taboo', way too much memories from just a normal game of Taboo. I accidentally smiled to myself when I recalled Kam Fwei's style of playing the game. Hahaha...! I tried covered the smile with a cough la ;p

I miss ya all from RCKL..! Can't wait to be back. If God's willing, I'll be attending church on the 21st. So till then, I'll wait for the time to come when I'll meet the Revivalites once again. Lovez!!

My absents from church

2009-05-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Well, some might already know that I'm working in the hospital on shifts. But some dun seems to know that I'm working on Sundays as well. I'm just too tired to message anyone informing about my circumtance. This post is sort of an explaination of my absents in church.

I'm working on Sundays. For the past 2 Sundays, I'd been working morning shifts, so i dun even have a choice to rush back to Ampang for church.. Though i wanted it badly.. You all won't know HOW MUCH I missed RCKL. The Catholic Church I'm attending over here is totally a different place to be. Maybe cos I don't understand their rituals and practices in service. It's interesting yet -- maybe it's just culture shock. Anyway, I still believe that we're worshipping the same God. That's what that matters most!

It's great to be able to be in God's House every Sunday. It's more tiring than anyone can imagine, to go to work and skip my rest just to make it for church. But (to every Christians out there!) it's more than worth it. ;)

Tonnes of thanks and appreciations to those who cared enough to ask me of my absents in church! Love ya all!!

Back Again

2009-05-07T19:53:00.000-07:00

I'm back in hostel. A week's leave passed so quickly. But then again, continue working in the hospital will be worth looking forward to ;) I hope I'll be learning fast.

Yesterdays

2009-04-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

I went out with my mom yesterday, I was left to stay in the car while she went into the shopping centre to get some sweet potatoes. This a is place where I had always spent time with my family since I was very young.

Then I noticed the empty rental lot (of the shopping centre) right in front of me. It was empty other than a box and chair. It used to be rented by A&W. What stunned me was that this used to be a place where I loved since I was young. Those were the time spent with my whole family: myself, my bro, my mom and my dad, all 4 of us...

I knew that the business for that A&W wasn't going well but it stayed til now. Come to think of it, it has been there since I was in Primary. My dad loves the A&W rootbeer while I love the curly fries (I still think they're the best ^^). We had always eaten there when I was younger. I can't help feeling some emotion seeing what's left of the place I'd used to spend so much time in.

Exam: was, is and is to be

2009-04-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

So far I've overcome 3 exam subjects. Still got Psychology, Anatomy & Physiology, Environment & Nutrition and Principle & Practices. Hahaha.. Sounds like a lot more. Need to buck up real hard. But I'm feeling relieve lately, maybe because God's peace is with me (thanks Melia ^^).

Ending of the Beginning

2009-04-10T03:18:00.000-07:00

I went for my last Ward duty with supervision today. *Means, from now on I'm on my own when I'm on duty* I dunno if I'm supppose to be happy or worried, haha.. but it's a journey. ^^

Interviewed a few patients today (still new, so not much to do). There's an old uncle that really impressed me with his knowledge from history to science. Really 'Geng' oh! When talking to him, it's like he's teaching me about medic instead of me giving advice. He's real cool!

Then there's this Ah Ma (grandma) that's very quite but very helpful. She's been warded for 1 month lo. Finally, i got to know that she's going home today. ^.^ when i happily told her the news, she was taking it like a joke (she's been here too long ma) and she din believe me.. But later i manage to convince her to believe it lah. Hehehe.. I'm so happy that she's happy.

1st Day once again

2009-04-08T04:07:00.000-07:00

Today I had my 1st day working full hours. There's still a lot of different stuff that I'll need to catch up with.

I also (for my 1st time) took an Apex beat reading on a patient today.

Trip To Water Treatment Plant

2009-04-06T05:50:00.000-07:00

The internet connection in college is still not improving..

Our last test is drawing nearer, and i just had a trial run onn practical nursing skills this morning. Tiring but it's a relieve to know that i CAN do it ^^

We had a trip last Saturday to a water treament plant in Selangor. Here are some pics:

In the bus at the beginning of the Trip

Few of us in the bus

A little briefing

Group photo at the end

Daily Thoughts

2009-04-03T05:41:00.001-07:00

Friday, 3 of April

Sometimes i just pause, flashing on the fact that I'm pursuing a nursing course. It just makes me wonder whether i can achieve my goal and become a nurse; whether i can stand firm in God after all these; wonder what's God's plan behind all that I'm doing right now?

Faith. God had thought me too much of it for me to push it aside.. I just feel like I'm constantly falling in love with Him over and over again. He never leaves nor forsakes.

I may sound like I'm drifting on smooth waters but it's really the opposite. I'd never been been shaken the way I am since I was a Christian. Yet, God had really molded me, built me and made me firm in Him. I'm really grateful that He is such a merciful God... So wonderful that no matter what I do, what I say or what I can't do, He's always there for me in opened arms.

I’ll be heading for an environmental trip to Puncak Niaga tomorrow. So many things are happening to me in SUCH a short time…

Long Way Ahead

2009-03-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

Things are getting tougher to handle. Test 3's coming and it's the major exam for this sem. Can't believe how fast time flies..

Holding on tight to my goal to graduate, i will rise! ^^

Brother back from NS

2009-03-17T00:40:00.000-07:00

My brother is back from National Service!! I’m so, so glad!! He came back last Wednesday, 11th of March. I got him a comic book as a welcome home present ^^

He looks the same like he left, just that he got darker, hair’s shorter and I think he grew taller as well. He said he gained weight and my mother gave me the exact amount of weight he gained: 1kg (-.-“)

No matter what, I really missed him and I’m so happy that he’s back. Maybe will buy something home when I go home this weekend for each of my family members. Secret recipe, perhaps?

4th Day of SCE: Nagging and Patience

2009-03-13T01:15:00.000-07:00

haiz.. accidentally deleted my previous posts. Looks like I cannot do anything about it so here goes my next post:

Today's my 4th day of my Supervised Clinical Experience.

We did practised on each other (the blood pressure, pulse and breathing rate) just that when it comes to the real thing-- it's just different..

*Patience, patience, patience..*

Updates of 7-8 and 10-11 March

2009-03-12T04:05:00.000-07:00

Wi-Fi malfunction.. That’s what you get from living in hostel. So, here are the updates for the last few days:

7th March, Saturday
It’s Mason and Stephanie’s wedding day. I had been teasing Mason when will he be getting married about 2 or 3 times and had also told him to invite me if he does. Haha..

So, I was invited! I was so happy for Mason and Steph. But much to my disappointed, I realized that the wedding is at the same time as my class. The wedding’s at 10.30am and my class is from 8am until 12.30pm. Cis..

I planned my time to rush to the wedding. I got some of my clothes send back to my mom yesterday when I met her after cell group so that I won’t have to bring luggage to the wedding (please don’t imagine how I would had look -.-”). I managed to get my dad to send me straight to church after class. Other than that, I’d also packed the stuff to bring home and brought it to class so I can make a fast getaway.

Everything went as planned. Thanks be to God!! ;) Though I was extremely late for the wedding, I still managed to bump into the newlyweds and congratulate them. They looked their best! What else can I say?! It’s their special day ^^

Once again, congrates and may God’s best be to Mason and Stephanie!

8th March, Sunday
Back in hostel again, came back and found my room-mate (only 1 didn’t went back) ill. I guess that it’s God plan that I will have to take care of her. God bless her.

Aiks, still got 3 assignments to rush and 1 of them is due on Tuesday, the other 2 on next Wednesday. And guess what? Test 2’s on Tuesday as well.. *Blank*

10th March, Tuesday
Well, I can’t say I did well for my test but neither will I fail. But then again, I don’t believe in the application of examination results (especially) in the field of nursing. Even if I get 100% for each and every subjects, doesn’t mean that I can deliver the best nursing care right?? So why not take it easy? Not to say that you should not study at all but not the stressed out type of study where some people skip the whole night’s rest to study la. Your body needs a break or it’ll break literally.

11th March, Wednesday
Our results came out quite fast. I scored 14/20 on “Nutrition and Environment”. I sort of expected it to be around 15 so I’m not too disappointed. Actually I did a few silly mistakes, could have done better but forget it. What’s done is done.

Kinda been thinking of relationships lately. Well.. I looked unto God in prayer about it for quite some time. Finally, He asked me:
“Are you ready to settle down and spend the rest the rest of your life in a relationship...?”

*drums* that’s the question everyone should think of before getting involve in a relationship.

Many people skip it and jump without thinking at all. That’s not the way, I guess, because emotional hurts are the hardest to heal and jumping in just like that (especially just for the sake of having a bf or a gf) will cause more complications in the future. I’d been in one and I regretted on not thinking deep enough but there are some lessons (easy AND hard) that you can only learn from jumping in. Then again, if you are not strong enough, my advice is not to jump in without considering the depth and current of the water. (For the Christians: You don’t want to end up far away from God, right?)

I guess I’m not ready to settle down yet. If it is God’s Will for me, I’m sure He’ll make a way ;)
Or maybe, just maybe, there might be someone better in the future?